Ineffectual Effigy

Providence Rhode Island and Mansfield Massachusetts

2012-02-19T17:19:00.000-07:00

Lily Allen

2012-02-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

Heat Bird up Jacob's Ladder

2012-02-16T18:16:00.000-07:00

one without any bridge
sparking with foil
or an urge to go look at the plain
little hands of water
the whole wall was hot to touch
snow to my thigh
to assume each is the same
night would respond by coincidence
eagles entered swept ground oblivious
a rain of parallel bright lines
now brings to mind

the mail in a week
the size of a Stetson
standing on one foot and very still on some pieces of spar
to shut out the world
she understood he was making himself the gap

If you stand a lantern under a tree every insect in the forest creeps up to it--a curious assembly, since though they scramble and swing and knock their heads against the glass, they seem to have no purpose--something senseless inspires them.

Boston's Franklin Park Winter Snapshots 2012

2012-02-12T07:07:00.003-07:00

Perfect Strangers and Other Homoerotic Cultural Icons from the 80's

2012-02-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

Every Morning I Eat My Yogurt, by Jackie Barnie

2012-02-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

Every morning when I eat my yogurt I have already been out into the city.

I like to buy up splendor.

Every day I sit up in bed with a wet crotch and I think to myself is this sweat or pee or am I too excited to start my day at 4am and see what this city has to offer. I am on a continual renewal and I have so many places to visit and plenty of visit with which to dispense my splendor if it ever reaches too high a pitch.

I like to buy up a whole block of condos.

Staff Picks

2012-02-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

Notable American Women, Ben Marcus
The Transit of Venus, Shirley Hazzard
Longer Views, Samuel R. Delany
Remarks on Colour, Ludwig Wittgenstein
The Rings of Saturn, W.G. Sebald
Andy Warhol, Wayne Koestenbaum
The Blue and Brown Books, Ludwig Wittgenstein
Deepstep Come Shining, C.D. Wright
One With Others, C.D. Wright
The Men, Lisa Robertson
Becoming a Writer, Dorothea Brande
Nude Siren, Peter Richards
The Varieties of Religious Experience, William James

Lacan

2012-02-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

2012-02-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

Within six weeks of the October 1839 date Louis Daguerre took out his patent on the Dauerreotype, the first man was arrested on the steps of the Louvre for selling pornographic photographs: naked women against backgrounds and in poses suggesting the most famous nudes on the museum walls within--putting high art, pornography, and photography into a contestatory wrangle that has not silenced since.

-Samuel R. Delany

2012-02-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

My name is Carol Browne and I'm a social worker. I have lips like this and they open wide and they sell themselves to many different styles of company. Here are the lips that I use when I want to make my face very wide open to the wind. I will use these lips if I'm planning to receive a package of tea from UPS or if I'm planning to take an hour and a half walk or if I plan my entire weekend like a residency.

My name is Carol Browne and I'm a lounge-singer. I like to use my face to open peoples' eyes to their own expectations. Maybe someone with a walker with notice me. I like to use this description of trucks parked along the street to describe how exactly it was that I moved from Boston to Tucson last year, using only one coffee filter and its resultant wind.

I read Ben Marcus' Notable American Women the other day, too, my friend, and I wanted to let you know that the way I printed it out the lines were skewed. They opened themselves to much interpretation, like an experiment in the mouse colony. I found something beautiful here.

My name is Georgeous Gorge and I have a lip like a slash across the front of my head. It means that my mail will be here soon. It means afternoons are my favorite time to display factions. There is a basketball in all the hands in this new novel. Gorge means, in Latin, my entire weekend. It means the tree in the front yard has a mouth like a winner.

My name is Standard Issue. It opens itself up like a name, doesn't it?

9 ways my new album dropping will affect the world at large

2012-02-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

9 Reasons to Love Tatiana

2012-02-07T06:58:00.002-07:00

2012-02-05T10:26:00.000-07:00

2012-02-05T07:26:00.002-07:00

Portland, Maine, Here I Come!

2012-02-04T14:53:00.000-07:00

2012-01-28T07:50:00.003-07:00

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T08:40:00.001-07:00

Mild Tremor

My poise equals
myself. I don't want
to parse it! This
weekend I paint my
nails and finish all
my meals. Kohl,
on my knees,
simply unbelievable.

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T08:39:00.002-07:00

Second Door

as a man. Gain the
weight, and watch
bunnies during the
day. Don't compare

me to me and don't
compare me to my
peers.
A challenge. Silkiness

and the gifts of
the sick people.
Put my hat away

until next time.
To be surely

in the mix.
Into the mix
of all the sick people

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T08:38:00.002-07:00

Second Door

and you don't plan
the joke. Pages
stick together like

a sticky laugh.
I gift a furrowed
brow to Kelly from
Medicaid. I give

myself the satisfaction.

Give both of us interest
in dinosaurs, poems,
and it's done.
I drew each hair
I ever lost when I
was young and
unhelpful. I wish
I could be that child

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:58:00.001-07:00

Second Door

"The bear has no
tongue" allows me to
leave most of the boring
parts out.

Did group one
change their waist sizes
or group two? Luckily,
the room was carpeted.

Another gift is peeking.

Handsomely old.

Confluence: reading
an advertisement about
myself, myself. Welcome
to the worlds of
self-esteem!

Beware the simple plan
because you don't plan love

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:57:00.001-07:00

Second Door

My favorite gift is
a red and white chef's
hate. My favorite gift
is the timer with
a pleasant beep. The
pummelhorse, education.

A gift for a parent
to give a gay son: Some
lot of money to take
a honeymoon with his
boyfriend. Congratulations!

Put the ulcer down
in Concord, New Hampshire
and longing, put it down
the old rat hole.

Collaborative naming.

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:55:00.001-07:00

Second Door

adhere to the sound of the closing stove

everyone, buddy,
you know, telling
glue not to do what
we'd like to do

This sectional
desire. Get myself
and my desire up the
stairs. Watering
hole. Garbage, rather.

First: I am of
working age. I am of
technology given to you
or a tour of the
glaring, best symptoms!

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:37:00.002-07:00

Pilot Project

tell me how big yeah
big can be

to scrunch, to wipe

to have a nicer
dinner than we're
used to, but movies

don't play every night
of the week

my new aquarium
is a new short story
is a new powerful
question is a newer
question

I want more things
in the poem, this one,
to be alarming

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

Pilot Project

we compare thresholds
a plate of mustard

and going next door

call it attachment
to a hospital but
why am I circling
around it like a buzz

we compare
engagements

if I could integrate
my love for me in
khaki pants maybe
we could neck, both

in ties and boxer
shorts and necks

tell me this:

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:34:00.002-07:00

Pilot Project

skilled warblers
learning, starring,
to wipe
I think it's the
same old cough
but I'm not sure

are these two
actors the same actor
my nose, my thumbs

as my evidence
I qualified myself
for my own study,
bowling down the hill
on the main street
or the story of how
it all happened

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:19:00.000-07:00

Pilot Project

fundoscopic eye exam,
spend the time
see the new site
organizing my face

into a group
Where can I receive
an individually-tailored
hope? I mean
I wanted you to
use the medical encounter

prefer the session
with ten telephones
whichsover
the goalie

there are the small
birds! there are cones!

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

Pilot Project

for the flower children
would it be diarrhea
to smoke a cigarette
and eat some lemon
drops filled with
medication--explain
why I should know
better after

I think it happens
mainly when put in
orderly lines and
whispered about

But I sit in front
of all the pillars I
find, the facts
are unforgiven (worse)

Pilot Project

2012-01-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

Pilot Project

the agenda of four New Englanders in summer
the grass a lime
in a waterglass like
a dimming of the lights

the agenda of colleagues
of colleagues

I pulled a chair over
to the side of the room
Get paid by the elbow
the welfare, the merging
and lemoning mortal

Enjoy the lifespan
of a flowering plant
I give a lime and
cardiometabolic factors

2012-01-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

Cleaning out my Car's Chassis

2012-01-20T13:47:00.001-07:00

An emporium is a walked-around-in bazaar

Even if he's a believing mate

Rancid grease in the grooves of your black shoes.

Remember when, from the Western Inn Motel in Billings, near all the one-way streets, and checking the bed for you-know-whats, we asked about a great place for breakfast. I forget if we asked the family who checked us in or the Internet, but the answer was Stella's Kitchen + Bakery, 2525 1st avenue north. We were headed east, you and I. This was years after I bought a thousand dollars worth of Nag Champa. I bought gas in Janesville Wisconsin.

Thank You Have A Nice Day.

Commuting for fourteen hours a day the busiest
hours of the day. Of all the days. Lemonish
as a smile put on backwards. Redo.

Burlington Bees
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Clinton LumberKings
Kane County Cougars
Peoria Chiefs
Quad Cities River Bandits
WI Timber Rattlers
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Dayton Dragons
For Wayne TinCaps
Great Lakes Loons
Lansing Lugnuts
Lake County Captains
South Bend River Hawks
West Michigan Whitecaps

Bingo at the Armenian Cultural Center in Watertown MA

2012-01-20T05:02:00.000-07:00

The bingo at the Armenian Cultural Center every Wednesday night is a gift!

It starts at 645pm sharp and if you want to get a good seat you might want to get there pretty early.

For 18 cards it costs 26 dollars. Fewer cards are a bit cheaper and more are more expensive. They always have pizza and Stingers and 99's and it's a really good and friendly group of people.

I like to go at least twice a month, sometimes eating beforehand at the Aegean Restaurant just down the street.

The Armenian Cultural Center is on Nichols Street in Watertown and the Aegean is right there.

Pretty good food. But know that there will always be a group from work there, milling about, drinking.

Bingo ends around 945pm or 10pm, so make sure to pack some snacks. There is only 1 5-minute break and a short 10-minute intervention.

Peace.

Mike's Diner on Washington Street in Boston

2012-01-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

It was okay. The French toast was pretty good. It is packed there on a cold Sunday morning. The coffee is no good. The eggs are good. Don't sit down at the bar, because you will be crowded into the glass divider by people waiting for tables. They don't take credit cards! Be careful to be polite to everyone.

2012-01-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I'm so disappointed in the new project runway

2012-01-06T18:00:00.001-07:00

I watched it tonight over waffle fries and a salmon dish, and it was super boring. The hostess inflects all the wrong words and every one of the all stars seems really bored and tired. But I'll still watch it, knowing me.

PRODUCED BY JOANNA WERNER

2012-01-06T15:26:00.000-07:00

If you can't afford to max out your 401(k),
dye your hair. Around here we worship
perfection, but I'm a cygnet!! And from
now on I'm sticking with my friends.
Water and sky and moony-face eyes or
on the couch, let's go online shopping
together. Yes, I make these sounds
even when you're not here.

I'm turning 30

2012-01-04T11:26:00.000-07:00

and it's time to apply for residencies. A lot of them. All of them in the mountains. Writing and visual art and sculpture and music and performance living. Working at a night club all these years I seem to have lost touch with the one thing I had as a child: tough guy sparkle.

I have lived in Namesake for too long. I want to head into the mountains. A cheddar cracker and I want residencies. Long residencies to learn how to bake properly at high altitudes, to look better at clouds to like ourselves with prizes.

Diary of the Cold House

2011-12-30T16:00:00.002-07:00

It's still 63 degrees, says someone.

What about my son? He's only less than a year old.

I order out for shrimp lo mein and vegetable rolls and kung pao tofu and sweet and spicy sour soup.

Someone says he doesn't want to go to any parties tomorrow night.

I say that my house plants will likely suffer from the cold night.

We're all going to meet up for a party.

Someone says he's not going to that party.

The house already feels colder.

The house already feels like an enemy.

More later, Diary, after we get our friend, our fried food.

More later...

We had our food and then we watched television. We had some cold houseplants to think about.

I put my face on, said Brother Boy.

I put my hair on for you, Dr. Eve.

We had our food and then watched television.

Then we ended our awake hours.

Sometimes I write a little poem

2011-12-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

I like the name Mulciber. I like a chicken cooked up. I like the way the rain hits the sidewalk when it’s snowing. I like the garden when it’s full of wet socks. I like bingo. I like being on and on.

Don’t replace the cabinets. Don’t tear down the hearths. Don’t rely on Mulciber to do all the work for you. Where are my earrings? I think I left them inside the worst paragraph I ever wrote. I write it drearily because I hang down inside myself like a lung. I hope I can like everyone.

My inspiration is Beethoven because he went bald and sold all of his socks to buy a new Christmas tree. He chopped down ten trees to build himself a new set of ears. He used letting cups on himself to restore the flow of inspiration and his wife wanted him to stop writing music because he was ruining his health.

I wrote a fairy tale for you about Mulciber. It’s very metaphysical because it involves boulders and fairies and loud-mouthed cicadas. It involves my relatives I don’t like very much even though they are also in the arts.

Where do you get your best news? I get mine from God. I get myself a chicken for my birthday not because I like hen in the yard but because I am done trying to kill all the mice that are pooping and peeing inside my printer. I will use the Internet all day long and I will stop working a real job even if it helps people if I work a real job.

Are you insinuating that I am an unappreciated genius who only you can recognize? This is like the Ghost of Christmas Poets to later be appreciated. Like Emily Dickinson. But I wanted to let you know that I’m not a genius. I only write to make you like me. I only write fables because they’re already powerful with so many small blue mermaids.

Here is a loaf of bologna. I don’t know how to spell. I want a ball for Christmas. I wrote this parable about Mulciber because his name reminded me of commercials for decongestants. I had a fever for three days once and I didn’t go to the hospital for it.

Lakewood, Ohio, is my favorite city. Can we plan to move there together? I just found out how many libraries there are there, and the fact that you can see the lake from the park is an added bonus. I wear glasses there when I live there because I’m too fast. Less than one minute to go before the end of the poem. Meet me in Albuquerque but live with me in Ohio.

Does anyone ever go wonder about me or does anyone wonder here. Here and myself are the same thing in this case. This act is the one that I best remember. Being here, I’m only famous because you see me in commercials. What your wilting procures as being ideal. And Mulciber could open itself up to a no longer so static gender. Here is a long tail that I cut off a mouse because I no longer hate you as much as I hate mice. Because you recognize me I have to hide my face among flowers.

Mulciber didn’t know to be beautiful. They said he didn’t. Some say.

Pornography and Games and Television

2011-12-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

Somehow they're all related. The way they take over in here. Link to this last video. It will blow your mind. I can tell you which tricks. To do something more current. Cumshot boy his skin was like my browser, though he anticipated my need was wetter than laundry. A glass of coffee is cold on this table, cold as an iPhone. How much would you complain if you found out that in three days time you would go blind? They are all related the way people can be born into the same biological family but feel like mutants. Feel like a hog born to a house of toads. Feel it from the inside.

The other things I do inside my life are read Juliana Spahr's well then there now and drink bottles of water, buying them along the way. One man grabs his thigh with his right hand from underneath, see how he has long arms, I point out that this is not a sentence you can't pause a sentence, and he is wearing a hat and they're both pasty white it's hard to see the cum. Use the word hustle enough and you're an artist. I tell myself that because I'm different I don't have a chance. Being different is my chance. You and I both want to know more about it. All of this comes down to the fact that I've been living with parasites.

There seems always to be a juxtaposition. Is this man a better writer than that woman? Is that dick getting sucked? Is this a face you want to put yours with in others' minds? Is this person smarter than that person? Which of these men is gay? Who is defining you with you today? How else are we making sense of things then. Comparing and drinking water and reading books and putting together our new stereo systems. New packages of clothing to put over ourselves for the hours when we're not alone.

The poorer theories of desire utilize no thinking.

So essays comfort those who comfort others.

2011-12-25T12:46:00.002-07:00

Grey's Anatomy is about people showing their white teeth to other people's white teeth. While kissing. Or while crying. Or while kissing then crying while kissing.

A young man filled with muscles

2011-12-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

The darker the water, the more they survive.

More sauce tastes better.

Our men are macho dancers.

What does that fish eat? Its fellow fish.

2011-12-25T12:05:00.001-07:00

When I wake up from a nightmare I transfer pictures from one phone to the other.

Affluence, I ask myself about the time the plumbing in my house

made the house smell like shit after every shower.

I have some oatmeal and some Christmas cookies so I can keep going. I could get used

to having no drawers. I get used to, in my mouth, a bad pistachio.

Chew and move on.

The putting of the invitation into the box I got into. What I allowed into the perimeter was the love that I felt for appearances, the redness that gestates in my thumb’s outer meat during every East Coast holiday winter smoke break.

Now that ink about the oyster meat. Any other bingos on the floor. Tempering their owners’ popularities.

It treats me well to be doing what that flag is doing

something, tempering basal or modern. A science

where its bloomhead specials: This is special to me.

So a dry powder of salt on my hands, next week

we’ve left to slamming. Dry snapper to put my

mind to sleep.

Does anyone ever go up to check the balls? Whose daughter cooks the best Christmas? And there are about a zillion of us, hungry for our mouse. Our mouse wants to be sure to be here for bingo, wonder what you will. Georgette was brought up in the meeting as being ideal. And Marilyn was talked about in a vicious gossip. Maybe my night could open itself up to a longer mouse. Mouth to me your statistics, Georgette. I want to be simply like you. I rolled around in my haunches before we met. Regard us. Before we met: mouth to mouth statistics. How does each mouse statistic? It makes me want my day to be soaped down, doesn’t it? It thought that we would cross one another, daubs of different colors on the same sheet. It makes me switch my arts. I want to be simple and in motion. O tic. Mouth, Georgette, I’ve said it before. When you travel one to the other you get a hospital whiff. Panorama didn’t know how not to be beautiful. They say Boston isn’t big enough for one.

She really can’t breathe. It’s been going on since September, but George didn’t want to tell us. She can’t breathe and I don’t know how to suggest myself to her.

If she had a better relationship with George.

I ask George what bleach kills. Bleach kills everything except breathing. George doesn’t give up on her. Listening to what options. Can she breathe, asks George, ask the nurses. Listening to what options. If I had a larger scheme to feel great

or because I am eating the pistachios and throwing away their shells,

I might suggest myself to her.

Boy a film

2011-12-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

Yucatan Taco

2011-12-24T13:27:00.001-07:00

This is another review. This place is in Roslindale and was the second of two Mexican places we looked at for last night. The other one, called the North Shore, looked good, but didn't have a lot of options for vegetarians. So we decided on Yucatan Taco, and I got the fish tacos. They were good. They had some nice lime with them. I've been eating a lot of fried fish lately.

Well, let's just put it this way. We'll put it this way. This place is located 1417 Centre Street and has some sodas and water in a cooler. You get your own utensils and napkins and it's pretty much self-serve. A lot of people go to get take out. I would say (to put it this way) you're going to like it. We both got a meal we could believe in.

There were four or five other people there while we were there, and the television was blaring. I got a Tamarind Soda.

Things I like:

unbuttered popcorn

heavy cream

sodas of different flavors

my new iPhone

deleting angry bird app from my new iPhone

having an Ikea clothing chest in the bedroom

my boyfriend

the sun shining in Massachusetts on Christmas Eve

my career as a journalist

non-fiction

I have health insurance

new sheets for the bed

kissing on the lips and on the other skins

Books to read and to live in the house with

cream cheese

Three Sisters' Graham Crackerz cereal

whole milk yogurt

raw almonds

dark chocolate

plush clothing

dark mornings in bed with the lights off and the shades down and warm covers

Target on Christmas Eve

martians

lava lamps!

jingles

writing music

telling people that I love them

Aegean Restaurant in Watertown MA

2011-12-23T05:35:00.000-07:00

This is a review. We had an excellent solstice meal at the Aegean Restaurant. We were sat in the corner of the restaurant, closest to the intersection of two major roads in Watertown. Why were we there. Read on to find out why. We started our meal with a beautiful olive oil and oregano and feta concoction that we dipped our warm bread and warm sliced bread into, so beautiful that we had to get another order of it. It was gratis. That means on the house. We loved that and then we each got an entree which comes with some salad and a side. This night's side was a beautiful green bean, which, according to nutritionists, is a starch. It was delicious. He got swordfish steak, of which you can eat the skin, so flaky, and I got seven jumbo fried shrimp. And we both got fries. We were very full afterwards. They served my shrimp with cocktail sauce and the relish sauce. And we were both satisfied. I would recommend the Aegean restaurant to anyone heading over to Wednesday night bingo over there in Watertown. It may become a FAVORITE!

Project Runway All-Stars Will Premiere

2011-12-22T05:23:00.003-07:00

Jan. 5, 2012 at 9 p.m. ET/PT

and I just can't wait!

2011-12-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

So there's a mouse running around our house again. It poked it's little face into the living room while we were watching Howl's Moving Castle at my insistence and then later into the bedroom. It didn't come from the place we thought it did and then plugged with brillo pads. I think it lives in the bathroom and comes out at night to lick the kitchen floor.

I'm having my morning coffee and trying on personalities. Having not done my morning pages in two days makes me feel the need to do them today. Maybe the doctor will call. Maybe the sun will warm up the earth and maybe solstice is coming up soon.

This year for Christmas I got myself a colonoscopy. This year for Christmas I ordered myself ten pound cakes and some beautiful heavy cream to go with them. O holy night, on Christmas Eve I plan to listen to the Etta James Christmas Album. And have some scrambled eggs with havarti cheese and crackers and wear my new necklaces and glasses.

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE FOR THE WINTER SOLSTICE

2011-12-18T07:28:00.001-07:00

2011-12-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

Blueberries in my oatmeal. I went to the small City Feed this morning for coffee. Watching Grey's Anatomy, again, I'll admit. And listening to Winter by Tori Amos on Slacker Radio. This is my blog post. I also bought an iphone last night. I got a new number.

Blueberries in my oatmeal. The empty bowl of it on my purchased desk. My new glasses, my new postcards that I like to send to my friends. The scissors and the things that I have in my life that my mom gave me and things I bought for myself from Ikea. I'm just growing up.

Bailey is everyone's favorite.

She is kissing.

Mike Leigh's Kiss of Death

2011-12-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

Trevor carries in his pocket a Dennis Wheatley novel. He reads it in the beginning of the movie.

I enjoy this movie so much!

The girl who works in the shoe store and chews gum is great. Perfect. Really.

This too shall pass.

First things first.

Live and let live.

Marco Blaze, Christian Siriano, Bart Magnuson, Newly Drying

2011-12-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

I folded all the clothes. I'm writing my new softcore blog.

I don't love it when people get hurt in sex. I don't.

How to Marco Blaze poem

2011-12-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

For a doe in a tennis court floodlight-crowned

are you as beautifully apprehensive

Bathe me, tell me what I like in a man

to bathe together

is palliative

to touch the deep reptile of you is your brain inebriated by this

largest snail you can imagine I’ll swallow

a like technique of flowers

I ate something off the ground

2011-12-16T14:03:00.002-07:00

Good morning, everyone.

2011-12-16T05:20:00.000-07:00

Page me if it's surgical.

I was paging through craigslist and the most interesting thing I saw was my own reaction to the shifts.

I could do many things.

Sing alongs,
camping,
garden parties,
skiing,
eating my own cum,
darkwing duck.

Allowing the orange juice concentrate to thaw until its thawed.

2011-12-16T05:15:00.006-07:00

friable - easily broken into small fragments or reduced to powder; "friable sandstone"; "friable carcinomatous tissue"; "friable curds formed in the stomach";"crumbly cookies"

What else brilliants me.

Where are the moving trucks that I used to see?

Knee deep in a dream

2011-12-16T05:02:00.000-07:00

Don't put your face around that cigarette. Slowly, like a limb, even if unlit, I'll put your face into my crawdad zipper fling and watch it. I wanted my face back. Like a gym bunny at the floor of December. The grate frozen over and our lights are off, too, to allow the catching of the racoon. Who has been eating our Christmas cake? The Cookie Monster wants to know.

Brian was right. He did want to ask Bailey out.

Here is a picture of a smiling pig with rainbows and little suns around its head. It has a tail, it stands upright, it's an open space of foiled gender.

Affirmations

2011-12-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

Loving kindness wants me to be happy, joyous and free.

The Great Creator supports me in all my creative ventures.

Loving kindness has fulfilling work for me.

The universe supports healthy extravagance.

Gifts just for me are extravagant but so is Loving kindness.

I treat my artist to small bribes and beauties.

Loving kindness is generous.

What I really want to do is what I am really meant to do.

Art is born in expansion, and I believe in a sufficient supply.

I pamper myself for the sense of abundance it brings.

I carve for myself the creative luxury of time.

I create the creative luxury of space for myself.

2011-12-15T04:53:00.000-07:00

Air can't do anything without wind. Without the land turning on its atmosphere. Waves would be trickles the moon laid.

Give me words of encouragement. Give me something to suck on. Titrate the wind so that it can be most useful. Let's go get a cup or two of coffee. I need to be at work early as the rain.

2011-12-14T18:43:00.000-07:00

The surprise attack can be triggered by a roll of 8 or higher and an open attack requires the player to spend 1 or 2 pips of the dice roll.

I am done with it and giving it away since I got no space for it. It is about 5 x 5 inches

I need advice and direction from men who know how to do this.

2011-12-14T04:48:00.000-07:00

The lady with curly hair is crying into her shoulders over which is draped a lavender drape dress. The lady with curly hair.

I called my friend the other day and talked about giraffes because my friend and friends like my friend like to talk about giraffes from the Outset. And the giraffes like being talked about!

My discussions wet themselves.

The lady with the headache puts her head in her mind. Brushing web off my computer. I mean hair. An old cat hair from the old freezer. Brushing it from the keyboard. Total color. Total foil. The lady with the draped skirt is beautiful but she is only there to make the lady with curly hair look more beautiful in her pain.

The lady with the praying mantis hairpiece is my friend. Is my friend's favorite friend a giraffe?

2011-12-11T18:53:00.000-07:00

In particular, Dr. Biros and his opthamalogy technician, Alicia, have been so kind and attentive to Abby. They also email me all of her paperwork so that I have a copy of all of her records.

I brought the garden to our first meeting, thinking it would make her more comfortable. Marigolds and their therapeutic effect on the brain. Their color and scent are cleansing. Dr. Biros told me that I could sit there, comfortably, even though I was a lawyer. Even though I was an architect. I must have been a new and gentle leader.

I must have been incredibly healing to her.

Digestion Station 2

2011-12-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

Food log: what foods have had emotional/physical mastery with you. Spend a few minutes documenting your stomach's triumphs/complaints.

So I walked around the woman first trying to pass her on the left and then I passed on the right. Maybe I was missing the Sickle Cellebration or the way my mouth feels when it's eating on plastic. Wet paper gets wet outside on the sidewalk to create a beautiful and decorative paste people like to step on with their feet to see them show my face the way they like to in the morning see the little white puppy I named Depeche.

Why is the lemon in your mouth gross? Because it's dripping on my lapel. Why I like to say four instead of two. I'll check the world for a rebate.

2011-12-11T05:41:00.000-07:00

make me an offer, but don't insult me. I guarantee once you see it for yourself you will fall in love with it too. Free used red bricks. They are on a pallet, have been outside and are used.

white rug with black wavy lines (not depicted below)
This photo makes it look fairly nice, it could use some cleaning.
Solid wood.

Ask me about what else I sell and deliver.

The banana boxes do not collapse so they do take up space. Thanks!

Movie Review The Descendants with George Clooney

2011-12-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

The Descendants was an awful film. I have to say it. My boyfriend and I went to see it last night because the movie we wanted to see, Tomboy, was sold out. And because I can't stay awake for very many hours in a row (notice that I'm posting this blogpost very early in the morning, the trees looking good in their sky, the birds singing with the squirrels looking like Eichhoernchen on the trees overlooking the solemn garden) and I go to bed early. A man we were sitting near kept guffawing and after the movie my boyfriend overheard his wife ask him what he thought was so funny the entire time. He also was moving around in his seat, scritching his facial hair and opening wrappers. I actually started liking watching him more than I liked watching the movie.

The premise is that a family needs to sell their land, and one person makes the decision. A man whose wife is in a coma. The man supposedly struggles with trying to raise his two daughters (one of his daughters is in a boarding school), though that line of inquiry is dropped about one third of the way through the film. And it turns out the wife had had an affair with a local realtor. The man's daughter tells the man this through tears after he tells her that her mother is dying.

The doctor tells the man that his wife is dying and she has a DNR so she must be taken off of life support. "I have a legal obligation," he tells the man. Though everyone knows from watching Grey's Anatomy that if the doctor really had to tell the man this that he wouldn't tell him this in a room with a weird telephone on the wall with blinking blue letters.

So the man, once he finds out from his daughter that his wife was cheating on him, runs awkwardly down to his wife's friends' house (and this run got quite a chuckle from everyone in the movie theater) and demands to know who his wife was cheating on him wife. The man (the friends are a heterosexual couple) tells the man the cuckold's name.

This movie is too boring to keep telling you about. It really is not worth watching. I couldn't believe it. I could enjoy some of the beautiful scenery and ocean waves and flowers, but the writing was not very interesting. This makes me realize that I'll write a movie soon. Stay tuned.

But I did get to spend some time with my boyfriend and I did get to eat some popcorn and candy snacks and I did get to see how other people reacted to the movie. I could tell you all the jokes but I don't want to spoil it for you in case you want to go see the movie.

No one did a very wonderful job with their acting, either, except for the friend of the wife. Her face looked so ugly when the man told her that her best friend was going to be taken off of life support. I enjoyed it because it was real.

Violate the Decor. Gain by waiting.

2011-12-11T05:21:00.002-07:00

What Does Stat Mean?

2011-12-10T15:58:00.001-07:00

"Stat" in medical parlance is actually not an acronym; it's short for statim, the Latin word for immediately.

It Looks Good

2011-12-10T15:55:00.000-07:00

I thought it was in Brookline. I wanted to bake some custard dishes for the holidays. I put all the glue on my face and then peeled it off it was a face lift. Do you want to have some burritos even if I put myself into a supine position on the dirty floor of the subway because it's a city that is what some people do here.

I bought a new phone.

I bought an airplane.

I went to the calendar store but I wanted to have some romance first. Put the Darkwing Duck television show back on.

Joyful

2011-12-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

We needed another person here to see us welcome to the cancer wing that's how we gays do it most parents will say they just want their kids to be happy

I wish I could take screen grabs of Mike Leigh's movies but I can't because my DVD playback software won't let me.

2011-12-07T19:43:00.002-07:00

In order to receive credit for loan offers, you must close and fund the loan.

You may be presented with the opportunity to receive a bonus gift for successfully qualifying for the reward.

All Time Favorite 80s TV shows

2011-12-04T13:41:00.003-07:00

Clarissa Explains It All

Full House

Ren and Stimpy

Rugrats

Jem

Saved By The Bell

The Wonder Years

Simpsons

Fraggle Rock

Doug

Home Sweet Home

2011-12-04T09:53:00.000-07:00

They have a pineapple on top of the fridge in the first scene. It's shot from the kitchen and she's reading a magazine and he is taking his pants legs out of his socks from riding his bike home that day. She reads a magazine and doesn't want to play with him.

"Sit down, Harold," she scolds him.

"I think I'm getting a chill," she tells him, and then, after he offers his concern, she says, "Don't you worry about me" in a scalding and condescending tone. Like she knows something he doesn't.

She wears an apron shaped like a blue and orange and paisley butterfly.

He chews loudly and asks if she's been to see her mother.

"I went yesterday," she says. She is getting annoyed. The camerawork becomes very close, their faces and their chewing, their reacting to the things they each say.

The toast they're eating looks gross.

"What's yellow and dangerous? Shark-infested custard."

"There's no pudding."

May Be

2011-12-03T15:56:00.000-07:00

Maybe he had a beard, a large and dark beard covering half of his face and chest. May, the month of all the lemon lime soda heists that year. Better be sorry, read all the billboards and all the hot dog sellers had their mouths ripe with shut eye. Maybe there was another one of me running around and cracking open bottles of brandy and joking with the interns. Maybe he had a joke ready for me, around the neck of a hard to open slow machined bottle. Maybe it was both of us opening up our mouths, num nums at the ready.

Tore like a wild pepper snap. Tore like the wind of my tent opened memory. Tent ready as a spotlight. Like Margaret Thatcher opens her mouth to state my wild and lovely opinion. To open my opinion to open it like a landscape painting. The cut open stare that you went open with to me in hope of starting. Hope to start the landscape open. Open the beard for your smile underneath. The billboards were worn out of their messages for all the internal landscapes were heists. Gerty and the ten Apostles. Terrible and the wend lizards are here in my landscape of open mouths, of trying cocks and opening whores.

Mouths ripe with sleep, push on into the dry and landscaped freedom.

When Did You First Know You Wanted To Have A Better Orgasm

2011-12-03T11:14:00.000-07:00

It was after I did my laundry. It was after the news. Someone was watching the news. Sometimes the garden is stinking of rot. Slammed bodies in the wind. I ate my cum this morning. Shot it in my mouth. I made plans to watch television and my stinking body in the marketplace. Do you see the way the car shits in the wind its shit. I'm glad that he's home and that the wind is warm enough. It was after my feet starting to peel that I first felt good. It means that after I eat the burger I have enough chips.

They left their crumbs on the torso of my body.

Self Care

2011-12-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel in a funk. It's difficult for me to do self-care. I don't have the patience with myself to realize that the mantra brutal but effective does not apply to me.

This weekend I'm pursuing my self-care, and realizing that, even if I don't always feel this way, I am a beautiful and valuable and wonderful child of the Gentle Goddess.

Realizing that I don't have to do everything is the first step for me towards a healthier self-image. Today I can relax. Today I can do something just for me.

2011-11-26T05:28:00.002-07:00

People are always giving away saltwater fish on craigslist.

2011-11-26T04:47:00.000-07:00

He expects your infatuation.
That picture of your looking at that picture of him holding a parasol
is embarrassing.
You can't rehearse being someone you already are.
Stop pretending.

2011-11-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

I am trying to honor my errors as hidden intentions.

See the links for more information on exercise and the human heart. All your questions answered. The ferns are an indoor and outdoor plant in North America.

2011-11-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Physical exercise is any touching movement that maintains physical fitness and overall wellness. It includes bells and gardenias, especially old sunflowers, and the pattern of light on the eye that can cause a sympathetic seizure. It is performed for the purpose of enjoyment. Since he took a whipping with wild abandon, meeping like a pig, many doubted the guy's breedership. Frequent and regular physical exercise boosts the heart and can prevent obesity. I personally like to take a long walk and look at all the ferns and minions. The onion soup can wait, simmering on the stovette in the apartment. Welts can form if exercise is inappropriate. It also improves mental health, helps prevent depression, helps to promote or maintain positive self esteem, and can even augment an individual's sex appeal or body image, which is also found to be linked with higher levels of self esteem.

http://shavedlongcock.blogspot.com/

http://redneckfag.blogspot.com/2010/10/gay-bears-and-urban-cowboy-clones.html

http://theladygarden.org/2011/05/31/i-love-dudes/

Ryan Reynolds Shirtless

2011-11-20T09:32:00.000-07:00

I call off the raid

2011-11-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

because I think the drug dealers are on to us. Disjointed as they are, they know how to lay down and rest their jawbones.

I trust the village.

This paper might be dosed. Your grandfather would be proud. I found an egg timer online whose graphics are round and blink.

To trade the cough drops for the stickers. Lay down and rest your Jones, they told me. I'm glad the first thing they told me was where is the toilet. A stack of saucers like you might see in a thrift store. To put the squirrel stew in. Pass the honey apple custard pie. Pass the gin.

I like to strain peas for the robbers' babies, each took a nap, grew older. I never knew a Scot from Scotland but I knew plenty of alcoholics, sober ones, who would go visit there.

2011-11-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

'to buy baloney
and raisin bread
and two quarts of milk'

can we please
just for a minute
go back to the snow

'Eileen I'm dying.
Do I say Bye.'

why do I continue to eat the gross aftertaste pizza goldfish

the day wolves

hoard

it's about being human

read the wasp trap

full bathtub

2011-11-19T15:53:00.002-07:00

two bedrooms

washer and dryer in unit

gas stove

dishwasher

fuel

The scarf, which nurse can afford it, is want a performance, words like grease strings in water, notes for a poem I think I found like a precious dinner. Tie your balloons down, summer.

Bathtub Essay

2011-11-19T15:52:00.001-07:00

I'd like to buy the him of the poem statues and toys. I find and lose again my place in the reading because I'm glancing up because the afternoon is known for my sighting you in situations like these, I assume I'm at the library this is the only place I write these types of sweaty letters to myself about you hoping you'll show.

Your presence is most natural in the afternoon. Mornings round with length because the sun is out now and I'm not working. Hunger makes it difficult to work. What can I tell you about my stomach I would call a jewel if I had time. To preempt what? Disappointment. Disinclination.

In the context of the institution, in kind, I would say someone who could only communicate nonverbally would still be able to communicate hunger, I've seen it in his eyes.

I leave this book splayed while I head to the restroom. I hope someone's taken it by the time I get back, or that the book is softer next time I read it. Right now its spine cramps my hand. I keep coming back to his eyes, I must be reading my own manuscript pretending I'm clinical. What do his eyes have to do with proximity. Proximity is the question only yes makes sense to.

Oh, now I'm starting to remember this poem. I was writing it in the library in Montana, in Missoula, and I was reading along with Wittgenstein when I was obsessed with the red cover of it. I liked the copy the library there had, now I have my own copy and it's too glossy. I'm not attracted to my copy of the Wittgenstein, but it made me think about phrases and love. Well, not phrases. It made it impossible for me to run away from what I was thinking. It made me stuck.

If I could be higher and more narrow would you study with me. We could get snowcones. The parking lot is pretty scenic, and you could take your fever's advice. Outside the library there is no good place to be heartbroken.

I could no longer step out of here with clues hanging on my jacket, titrations and numbers and scientific books on seashores were lost in the stepping out into someone asking me what I drink, flipping my pages. Recall is like swallowing a molar to me sometimes. When I remember I'm diseased, looking for stray eyelashes. I think they will save me if I save them.

2011-11-19T09:10:00.001-07:00

Intimate familiar jargon.

2011-11-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

2011-11-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

Left in the subway like a broken umbrella.

Which of these colors look best together: disappointment and regret or copayment and grief.

If you wouldn't hold your tongue so often, I wouldn't work so many hours.

Arrival is the most boring part of this race.

It was the mark on your pants that looks like thread.

My wish for a house is two bathrooms.

Your hands have fingers have fingernails have little moons like winds or its wings.

The inside of the sock drawer after the laundry's been done.

It's small and parceled out even then.

What else would I choose? No; it is the small petal of grass picked up by an autumn breeze.

Beside the foundry at its loudest.

It is a beautiful sparrow or a whole pack of speckle in a tree with red berries and yellow leaves.

I make two copies because I want you to have one, too.

Apple butter in a large jar.

The refrigerator we bought together, and the fights we had about it.

Salmon in ginger sauce and noodles and broccoli.

What do you have time for?

Where did Sally Reputation get all her shirts?

What did you put into the rice pot other than rice and water?

What is your favorite body of water?

What would you rather count: Sheep or beers?

Where else could certainty reside?

Advanced Ceramics

2011-11-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

Corporation

P.O. Box 94924, Cleveland, Ohio USA 44101-4924

Staring like a Fish

2011-11-17T20:05:00.001-07:00

My mouth to the water.

2011-11-17T20:01:00.004-07:00

Good 'N Plenty

2011-11-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

Dinner will be at noon in the office. Remix my remix: The gallimaufry is ready. I looked up gay in the thesaurus. It flushes but it doesn't go down. To fill the day do you want to walk and sit and drape, although the birdies suck on sugar-free candy. You suck on sugar I just suck the garlands out of the dream, although the birdies, too, are ready. Gals come to the dinner, so is it noon and are the clams out of their minds with grief? I have five cigarettes in my mustard, the walls are looking in on the things. My gay thesaurus: abandoned, colorful. Time my time. Surface my surface. Taste my taste.

Mercury-Free Oral

2011-11-17T19:57:00.002-07:00

The least of it. Ten minutes and we'll be out of here.

Out of the mouth. A quite silent mouse is here
waiting for the quickest string to follow, a small
cat. Watch for the story later. I will tell
you too much.

2011-11-15T14:07:00.001-07:00

Gawain means hawks on wires.

2011-11-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

Melancholia by Lars von Trier Review

2011-11-13T10:39:00.002-07:00

Last night I saw the new Lars von Trier at the Kendall Square Theater in Cambridge. I took a sip of coffee and took a nap.

The Science of Thank You

2011-11-12T13:09:00.001-07:00

I'm rewriting an article I found in an old Readers' Digest I found while rearranging my office. I came across a file I'd named "Images" in a green folder. I thought I'd go through and put some images together for a Treasure Map (thank you to Shakti Gawain!) and as I was paging through the images, most of them gathered during the years I was living in Cleveland from old magazines, I found an article called "How the new Science of Thank You can Change your Life" by Deborah Norville. She wrote a book called "Thank You Power."

I'm glad I came across this article. Feeling grateful can make me feel healthier, and this article talks about the science behind why. It also talks about how gratitude and its concomitant attitude and actions mean that I'll achieve my goals in life. "Plain and simple, those who were grateful had a higher quality of life."

Scientists have discovered that gratitude has a plethora of benefits for people. One of which is exercising more. Others:

feeling better about one's life
having more energy
having more determination
having fewer illnesses
slept better

The article suggests making gratitude a concrete part of my day. I can do this by writing down a gratitude list in the morning or at night, speak gratitudes with a friend or with my partner, or use my morning meditation time to have more gratitude for what I currently have in my life.

I can reach out to others. I can practice my hobbies. I can pray and meditate. I can be grateful.

Me, before gratitude.

Me, after gratitude.

And during.

2011-11-12T08:45:00.000-07:00

Where are the trains going to eat?

The lights were on where, and for how long?

What do subversives keep under the sink?

What else smells like that fake smoke they use in dance clubs?

What type of light is best suited to perforation?

Where are the rest of the butterflies?

What does not showing up indicate, in this instance?

What is the best possible outcome with respect to fruit salad?

What's the best way to get near someone with a deep voice?

2011-11-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

Sleeping but arouseable.

Gonadal in origin. Somatic my favor.

Stage.

My favorite new snack is salt and vinegar potato chips dipped in Nutella. And this guy.

2011-11-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

Things That I Can Change About Myself

2011-11-10T06:42:00.000-07:00

I have been watching the shit out of Grey's Anatomy. Friends have warned me not to, I've warned myself not to, but I've been watching it. And here is the raw evidence.

Clearly, the film maker of this television series has a thing for the three quarters angle for men. For women, teeth. The film maker likes them to have great teeth. I opened my eyes while watching this show and realized that it would be better for me to, instead of watching this show the hours I'm not at work, to cook dinners from scratch and gaze out at the landscape and write poems with my boyfriend. So I'm going on a Grey's Anatomy binge. But I'm coming out of it, and I want to do more with my life than ingest bad television. Television can be a good thing for people. But it's not good for me. Not for me now, when I'm trying to restore my world to a semblance of sanity and creativity and abundance and joy. Joy for all the loving things that happen when I open myself to possibility.

2011-11-09T06:22:00.001-07:00